Simplicity

The sun rose like a stealth bomber this morning. There was no fanfare, no pomp and circumstance. There were no clouds and very little colour. The sun just crept up quietly and took its place in the sky above the cedar trees. Canoe lake was almost flat as ice but the loons were singing up a storm piercing the dawn with their haunting calls.

I am sitting here at the end of the dock obscured by the sailing lookout, hidden in solitude to watch the rest of the sunrise. I love these moments. There is real joy to be had in the simple, quiet moments in life. There is no chatter either outside or in. My senses are alive with life. I am reminded of the simple pleasures afforded by my senses. Peace follows simplicity. Seek simplicity and undoubtedly peace will be lurking in the same place.

Rays of Light

I am still in awe of this morning's sunrise. It coloured all if the random clouds in the sky with a pink glow. But, most impressive was the extent of the rays of light from the sun. They were long, wide, golden beams that reached up into infinity.

Love permeates outward. It starts in my heart, in your heart ad moves in concentric circles out to infinity. We don't need to do anything to ensure love's radiance. We just need to make sure that we aren't obstructing its flow. Live is who we are at the core and it flows from person to person and object to object in the same way that water flows downhill. Love is not an emotion. It's a verb and it is our sole purpose in life.

Fast and furious

The sunrise seemed to come out of nowhere today. That could be partially due to the fact that I got up a little late today. Nonetheless, the sun was up, the mist was burning off Canoe lake and the air was heating up in no time.

Some days feel slow and other days feel fast. Everything feels urgent and charged on days that feel fast. Even tempers flare easily on such days. These are good days to practice pausing before acting in order to get some perspective. It doesn't always happen but it is a good idea. Think before you act is good advice.

Anxious

Usually the sun rises quietly in Algonquin Park this late in the summer. Usually there is a lazy mist on the water and a chill in the air. Not today. Today the sun was anxious to get up in the sky and the wind anxious to blow across the lake. I think it's going to be very hot today.

Do you remember getting so excited in anticipation as a child? It seemed the day would never come. It seemed as though you would burst with enthusiasm. Where does that feeling go? Why don't more adults run and jump for the sheer joy if anticipating the next activity? Perhaps we should examine how much of our life is worthy of such an activity. I think we need a little more fun!!

Hidden Beauty

Fog was abundant this morning as it usually is this time of year. It's hard to observe a sunrise that is obscured by thick layers of cool mist. But I still knew it was there behind the mist slowly heating it into obscurity.

Things aren't always what they seem. Just when you feel like giving up then you get a break or there is a breakthrough of some kind. Just when I thought this day was going to be foggy all day, the sun ripped through an opening and then proceeded to burn up all of the fog in an instant. Breakthroughs can happen that fast. It seems as though nothing is happening at all. It feels like you have been stuck in the same place forever and then BLAM you get a breakthrough and you can't believe that you ever felt stuck at all.

Different Stages

The sky is filled with different types of clouds this morning. Between the different types there are huge expanses of clear sky which are filled with various gradations of yellow, orange and red light. Above that the sky is steel grey. The contrasts are stunning and each stage is completely different.

It makes me think of growth stages in life. Life is essentially a series of growth stages. You are either in one, starting one or ending one. Of course, there is that brief blissful period between growth stages where you just are. Each stage has its own beauty. When you surrender to the fact that life is simply a series of growth periods then it seems to be easier to navigate the stage you happen to be in. Basically, if you are alive then you are always growing.

A New Day

This dawn was stunning. Strong golden light emanated from the sun as it made its way up into the sky. The light touched everything around it casting each thing in a eerie glow. It wasn't so much coloured as it was light. Gold was the only way to describe the colour and that doesn't do it justice.

Even after the longest dry spell or the harshest night, there is always a new day which promises new possibilities. When things have been particularly tough, it is very comforting to remember the wise adage "this too shall pass". It always does, without fail. Sometimes it seems as though hard times will last forever. But things always change. In fact, that is the only thing to be certain of. That things will change. And when they do, you can begin the cycle anew looking forward to another opportunity to grow, evolve, love and laugh.

Good Weary

Watching the sunrise from LAX was oddly pretty. The soft pastel colours of the sky juxtaposed on the futuristic buildings at the airport. Everything was slightly bathed in early morning light. It wasn't a bright light though, it seemed quiet. As though the sun might be a bit tired from all it's hard work.

I feel weary sometimes especially after I've completed some really great work. There is something really satisfying about being worn out by giving it everything you've got. We used to have a saying when I played sports in high school. We used to say "leave it on the court" and we meant it. That's another way to describe "good weary". It feels good even through the exhaustion.

Peace

The sunrise was so peaceful this morning. There was a golden glow that spread outwards from the mountains in Ojai. It seemed to have a centre from which the light was radiating outwards, touching everything in its path. There was nothing it didn't touch.

Love and peace feel very much the same way. They radiate outwards from the centre of your being. The only reason why you wouldn't be able to feel their presence is because somehow you have blocked the transmission and reception of these glorious energies. Sometimes, it is necessary to elicit the contrasting energy in order to know, without a shadow of a doubt, how to recognize your bliss. This is the ultimate human drama: to create the opposite in order to know the truth.

Ineffable Presence

The sunrise is pervasive in Ojai. We are situated in a valley completely surrounded by an expanse of mountains. When the sun rises the whole valley lights up. There is absolutely no variation in colour, texture or light. In fact, there is no differentiation between yesterday's sunrise and today's sunrise. The immutable and unchangeable qualities of consciousness are very real in the Ojai valley.

There is a part of all of us that is unchangeable. This part is also unhurtable and cannot die. It is the part of us that somehow connected to all that is. I can't even begin to discuss it because I don't really understand myself. But I know that it's there. And I become very acutely aware of it on mornings such as this. The presence is there. It's not going anywhere. And there is nothing, absolutely nothing that you can do to alter it, change it or upset it. It just is.

Sleepy Valley

I'm in Ojai, California. It's in the mountains between LA and Santa Barbara. Krishanmurti lived here for many years at one point. I can see why. The Ojai valley is one of the most stunning landscapes I have ever laid eyes on. My witness of the sunrise was very brief this morning. I got up, noticed it and went directly back to sleep. The jet lag combined with the intensity of my work left me no choice. Sleep was a necessity.

I wonder how many times in my life I have denied my deepest need for some social convention. It's not really that acceptable to "need sleep" or to "need" anything for that matter. But everybody has needs. I used to think it was weak to "need" things now I actually see it as a sign of strength. Recognizing that there is no way possible that you could be truly self-sufficient on this little planet takes an immense amount of strength and courage. There is great strength in vulnerability because a person with less resources would merely shut down in the face of adversity. Someone with strength continues on with life in the face of vulnerability and pain.

Waiting

I was waiting for the sunrise for a long time this morning. I am back in Santa Monica so was awake at some ungodly hour due to the time difference. It seemed as though the sun would never rise. The sky remained this not-quite-dark version for what seemed like forever. I was waiting and watching the clock tick slowly by. Waiting and waiting.

Patience is a virtue, they say. Lord knows, patience is not my strongest virtue. In fact, I have been known to get easily frustrated and take matters in my own hands when I run out of patience. However, in the humorous case of the sunrise, I could take matters into my own hands. The sun was coming up on its schedule and that was that. So I sat and waited and surrendered my need to control the circumstances. A funny thing happened, I really started enjoying the sunrise.

Stuck

I was up very early today. The sky seemed stuck in pre-dawn mode for an unusually long time. The beautiful band of red, pink and purple seemed not to change at all over time. Finally, I left the beach in order to catch my flight to LA. It was as though the sunrise was stuck.

Stuck energy does not feel good. First of all, there is the issue that you are not moving forward. But, there is also a lot of discomfort from the build up of energy behind the stuck point. It's like a dam holding back an enormous force of water. That actually causes more discomfort than the lack of forward momentum. Relief comes only when forward motion is resumed, however small. The key to staying or getting unstuck is to keep moving, if only a little bit at a time. Eventually, full movement will return as each little step builds momentum from the last one.

Stretching

The sunrise stretched out in all directions today. It started as a faint red glow in a small break in the clouds on the horizon. Then, it spread horizontally across the sky cleverly finding any open spaces in the clouds. Finally, the glow spread upwards and around filling any and all of the space between the clouds and even spilling the reflection onto the stillness of the lake.

How often do you stretch your own boundaries? It's like stretching your muscles, I suppose. If you haven't stretched in a while then you feel stiff and clumsy. Stretching even hurts if it has been a really long time. But the teaching is that you should stretch to the point of discomfort, back off just a smidge and then breathe INTO the discomfort. The breath dissolves the discomfort and then you are able to stretch a little further. With consistent practice, you can greatly increase your range of motion over time. The same process holds true for stretching your boundaries in any area of your life. It may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you are out of practice. Believe or not, breathing into the discomfort actually works. Breath is a magic tool. Then, eventually you will soften to the stretching in your life and be more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Holding Back

The sunrise held back today. It was neither sunny nor cloudy, more of an in-between, indecisive state. I can totally relate to that right now. I'm not very good at being indecisive but I'm told it is a necessary life skill to have. So, apparently, I am creating opportunities all around me to learn this life skill.

Even the daily message that I get from tut.com was in alignment today. This is what it said:

Gina, you're the only person who knows what's right for you.
The only one.
And if you already know what this is, commit to it.

If you don't, commit to nothing.

How's that for a "message"? Trusting oneself can be tricky business, especially if one has lost connection with the inner self. Essentially, this is the process of growth and evolution. In order to learn how to trust yourself, I suppose you first have to do the opposite a few times and live with the consequences. It certainly makes for an interesting experience.

Released

The weather finally relented into a brilliant thunderstorm yesterday. It was as if it were releasing the build-up of tension throughout the world. The anticipation of the storm was slow and painful. Finally and mercifully, the skies ripped open and released the energy. The lightning storms continued long after the storm had passed. The sky was bright and clear this morning relieved of the heaviness and tension of the weekend. The edges were crisp and the colours beautiful as the golden light from the sun mixed with the brilliant blue of the sky. The result was glorious shades of purple and pink.

I felt as though I was riding the waves of tension in parallel to the thunderstorm. The image of holding my breath continuously cycled through my mind. If the storm was a projection then I was certainly storing a lot of tension. Noticing my surroundings gave me an opportunity to notice what was going on inside of me. This happens more often than you think. Usually, what you need is being so clearly communicated in and through your circumstances that you simply need to pay attention and take the resulting inspired action. Interestingly enough, I feel clear and relaxed this morning as well. I wonder if my edges are defined by beautiful colours as well.

Underneath

It will rain today. Hopefully. The sky is covered with a thick grey blanket of impending moisture. The wind is in full force very early in the morning. The air is 100% humid. Something's gotta give. Despite the outwardly appearance though, I know the sun is still there rising beautifully, faithfully underneath the clouds. I wish I could stand on top of the clouds so I could see the sunrise. Alas, my challenge is to know the beauty is there even though I can't see it.

Have you ever felt through the pain? There is always something underneath it. That something is beautiful. That something is love, every time. Deep, thick, immutable, beautiful, simple love. It's not the romantic love of bookstore shelves or even a feeling about someone. Love is a verb. Love is an action. Love is who you are. When you love someone you give them something. There is nothing passive about it. It takes work to love through the pain. We've been conditioned to close down in the midst of our pain cutting off access to the very thing that can heal us and everyone around us. Regardless of appearances, love is present every where. Perhaps we need to get in touch with our own love before we can become acutely aware of its pervasive presence all around us.

Subtly Graceful

There is a thin layer of cloud today. It's like a veil, not quite thick enough to be called overcast but hearty enough to uniformly cover the sky. The light gets through though with no effort. This type of light is close to white; it's not really coloured or variant at all. The word graceful springs to mind.

When I was a little girl, my mom used to say to me "Gina, if you have to tell people that you're graceful then you're probably not". What she meant was you need to BE who you are instead of tell people about who you are. You know, "actions speak louder than words". I think this is the great paradox of being human. We ultimately yearn for the freedom to express who really are while at the same time we are terrified to let people see our truest nature. The heart yearns to be free to love while the brain yearns keep things safe and predictable. You know who I'm cheering for :)

Sky Waves

The sky was so beautiful this morning. The clouds looked like rolling waves in the sky. They were flowing, swirling and curling to match the rhythm of the waves on the lake below. The sun burst out of the water in a fiery red ball. The edges were so defined against the hazy blue sky. The entire sky lit up giving the clouds a golden edge to their wavelike appearance. The whole scene seemed to flow from one frame to the next without any apparent transition. Yet, the sky would be completely changed after only a few minutes. It was very subtle and graceful.

There are times when being in the flow makes me uncomfortable. Perhaps its the unpredictability of what will happen next or the simple fact that things change quickly and without warning when you are just flowing. Paradoxically, I also rather enjoy the flow for the very same reasons. Once I surrender to the flow then I am able to get in a groove and go with it. I realize that it's my decision to let go that changes my experience of the situation. I suppose the discipline in life is choosing to make that decision to let go and trusting that everything that happens does so for a higher purpose.

Unrest

The morning was full of energy. It was windy and busy and generally unruly. There is a coming storm in the air, that's for sure. It was anything but peaceful down there this morning. Even the birds were acting strange. Hundreds and hundreds of geese were flying in V-formation about a foot above the surface of the lake. It was so bizarre. Perhaps they were practicing their formations for flying south in the fall.

When I notice the angst in the weather and on the lake then I take notice of it within myself as well. I start to notice all of the things that are still undone. I start to fret about not having enough time to get it done or whether I want to get it done in the first place. And then, I stop. As I stood on the edge of the lake, I just let the wind whip through my hair. I shifted my attention from my angst to the fact that the air felt cool; that this was the first time in a week where it hasn't been sticky, sweaty, humid hot. It felt great. Then, after my brief pause, I could focus on what was right. I forgot the angst altogether. I just needed to make a shift in order to snap out of it. Luckily, the wind was there to help me.

Slow and Steady

The sunrise seemed slower today, as if it was taking its time. It was slow and dreamy. There was mist again but not as much as yesterday. The air is thick and humid. As such, everything seems to move a little bit slower. Including me.

I used to resist slow periods because I believed them to be unproductive. Lately, I have come to realize that slow periods are highly productive because they provide the opportunity to create. And creation is hard work. To move something from the abstract to the concrete is much more difficult than to run around doing menial tasks and checking them off a list. Bringing an idea from the depths of your mind and then giving it shape, form and contrast is a laborious takes that mostly takes place without assistance from your conscious mind. Therefore, it seems as if you are doing nothing. This couldn't be further from the truth.

Misty Morning

It was such a rare morning. There was an eerie mist swirling about the lake at sunrise. I hesitate to just call it a fog because this mist had movement. It was constantly shifting and I felt as though I stood on the edge of the Lake leading to the mystical island of Avalon. From time to time, a flock of geese would fly by appearing only briefly in the mist and then disappearing once again. I felt as though I was inside something.

It was oddly comforting. I wanted to stay there forever. I felt protected, secure and content. I sat on a rock at the edge of the lake for a long time. It was like being invisible because there is no way anyone could have seen me from the boardwalk nor from the lake. It was like being in a cocoon. It dawned on me on how much that feeling of security is lacking in our lives. We run from place to place, from decision to decision but we never can really know if what we are doing is the right thing. Every action we take is a leap of faith. There are no guarantees in life. The best we can do is live our truest life and love as much as possible.

Everything

The sun is everything. Without it, we cannot live. I have personally spent many hours in the last week seeking the warmth and comfort of the sun. None of it in the mornings, of course, because I have yet to see the sun actually rise in California on this trip. I am sitting at LAX right now and the sky is again overcast. However, I expect it will burn through the mist in a couple hours and work its magic once again.

Opposites provide context. The general lack of sun in the mornings has made me appreciate the spectacular sunrises that I have been able to witness this year. I don't really appreciate the warmth of the sun until I am sitting in the shade freezing a bit. I started to apply this awareness to other areas of my life. Could I appreciate something about someone by recognizing the opposite first? We tend to avoid negative emotions at all costs but sometimes the negative emotion provides insight as to what exactly needs healing. It seems that the only way to the other side is straight through the middle.

Endurance

The sun endures. No matter what, it will always be there the next day whether you can see it through the overcast sky or not. The sun will be there regardless is what storm ripped through you reality last night. The sun is certainty.

Life is not certain. Life is uncertainty. There are no guarantees at all. Our only hope is to listen to that small almost imperceptible voice deep within when it seeks the truth. There is a risk when you speak the truth. First of all, your world as you know it may crumble. You won't know what will follow and that's justifiably scary. However, the alternative is worse, I think. What if nothing changes and your deepest yearning remains unmet? That's the real cost.

Love

When you feel the sun's warmth upon your face, it feels like love, does it not? Does it still feel like love when the sun is shrouded in grey and overcast skies. Is there still love there? I am certain of it. In fact, when the sun is hidden as it is again this morning then it forces me to look around to notice what else is right before my eyes. As I follow my gaze around this beautiful property I notice swaying palm trees, stunning rose gardens, soothing fountains, hummingbirds, pelicans and even the far off chatter of complete strangers. All of this too, is love.

There is nothing that is not love. Even though (and especially) if there are times where it feels anything like love, that's still love. That's the paradoxical beauty of love. It's everywhere and everything. If you are not feeling it then consider that you have closed to the abundance of love that is literally everything bursting to get in. As I write this sentence, I realize the absurdity because you, too, are also love which means that if you are not feeling it then you have closed yourself off from yourself. This can be easily undone. Literally. Just breathe and allow your heart to open. It will. And then feel what is all around you from the inside out. It's always been there and will always be there. No matter what. Just breathe.

Similarity

I'm beginning to notice a pattern for the sunrise on the coast here. Overcast and grey seems to be the norm for the sunrise and many hours thereafter. I'm glad I didn't decide to write this sunrise blog from the coast because so far seeing the actual sun rise has been my challenge.

But life's like that: challenging. Challenge is what causes growth and change challenge stimulates, or rather activates resources that lie beneath the surface. These deeper resources are just waiting for an opportunity to be needed. Without the appropriate challenge or stressor they would continue to lie dormant. The challenge is the only way to access them. Thankfully, then life is full of challenges.

Slow and Steady

I'm beginning to see a pattern in the mornings on the coast of California: overcast and grey. I remember this pattern from my decade spent living in Vancouver. The sun takes a while to get going on the Pacific coast. It has to first burn through all of the cloud that rolled in off the ocean overnight. Well, Carlsbad is no exception. However I can already see blue sky poking through the grey blanket.

The air was heavy this morning and I felt exactly the same way. I could almost hear the sun telling me to go back to bed. So I sat there for a few minutes and then I did go back to bed and sleep soundlessly for another two hours. I think I was tired and I'm pretty sure the sun knew it. I'm grateful for the signal to get the rest that I need. Sometimes it takes an outside force pushing us into what we need. I know that I often love the feeling of surrendering to someone else's lead. Today was that day for sure. Thank you sun!

Anticipation

I arose early this morning eager to watch the sunrise over the mountains in Julian again. I crept upstairs at the B&B we were staying at and made my way to the deck in the early dawn. The sun was just beginning to brighten the sky. I waited there, patiently at first and then a little less patiently as it seemed to take forever. My anticipation was growing and it seemed that it would never actually occur.

It did, however, give me an opportunity to muse about my impatience. I am often impatient. At what cost, I wondered? What else was I missing by focusing on my anticipation. Much. I was missing much. I began to look around at that point and started to notice everything that I had been missing. Everything that was right in front of me. The hills are very rocky here. Not in a granite slab, cliff sort of way but rather the hills are covered with boulders. They are really unlike anything I'm used to. In fact, the whole hillside is gorgeous. As was the sky and the trees. There was even a rooster crowing in the distance. Not sure how I missed that but focusing on being impatient has a way of erasing the obvious. It was a good lesson in refocusing my attention. Pay attention to what gets your attention.

Slowly and Surely

The sky warmed up slowly today starting with a faint glow far off in the distant mountains of southern California. It was hot already when I got up this morning in the quaint little town of Julian, CA. The sun seemed to lumber up in response to the heat. It was as though the sun was as tired as I have been lately.

Working too hard is not a sign of success. It's a sign of detachment. Detachment from how burnt out you really feel. It isn't until you get a break from the pace that you realize you've been running too hard. This last time was a bit of a wake-up call for me. If you look around you'll find harmony in nature. Push and pull. Give and take. I think I've spent a little too much time pushing and giving lately. Balance is not static; it's dynamic and it takes as much action to rest and rejuvenate as it takes to work hard. It's just a different type of focus and attention but one worthy nonetheless.

First Impressions

At first glance, this day is bleak. The sky is completely overcast. I mean grey. And yet, I think it will clear. I think this day is not what it first seems. I have sneaking suspicion that there is clear blue sky in the near future. But you wouldn't know it from the sky.

First impressions can be tricky. Think of how many judgements you make based on first impressions. More specifically, think about how many incorrect judgements you make based on first impressions only to discover that you were wrong. Do we really need to make such quick judgements? What would happen if we didn't? What would happen if we took the time to get to know someone or something before we judged them or it? What would happen if we didn't judge it? Ever? I would like to propose that we make an effort to allow for a second impression and see what opens up in our lives.

Inside Out

I'm back in LA again. The sunrise was nonexistent in the fog this morning. It was completely overcast. However, the day was not a total write-off. The blue sky peaked out by about 6:30 in the morning. I noticed that I started to shine inside.

The day got better and better. I can't decide if it got better first or if I got better on the inside and then it merely reflected it for me. It's always like that. The outside reflects the inside. Always. What are you projecting right now. Have a look around. The answer is usually right in front of you.