Faith in the Process

It's actually almost totally cloudy here in Las Vegas today. Almost, but not quite. There's a big difference between almost and totally. I think we tend to forget that most days. I know that I personally forget this fact. Often, I think that something is totally finished or totally impossible when in reality it is almost or partial. When something is almost or partial then there is an opening. Sure, it might be a small opening but there is still an opening; a space where something else can occur.

When you focus on what's wrong then you get more of what's wrong. Conversely, when you focus on what's right then you get more of what's right. If you focus on the space between the blockage then you will be able to see the alternatives; the solutions. In the same way that I can see little bits of brilliant blue sky in between the grey and white cloud cover. If I blur my eyes then I only see the clouds but if I look directly in the spaces then I am overcome by the diversity of shades of blue, the beauty that exists right in front of my eyes. Where I choose to focus is my choice.

Truth

There is no place to hide when the sun rises in the desert. The horizon stretches forever in both directions behind those beautiful mountains in Las Vegas. Early this morning, there was a strip of burning red between the top of the mountains and the clouds just above them. It's the same with the truth inside you. You can't hide it no matter how much you try.

The truth of who you are and what you think is self-evident. In fact, it is usually evident to the people around you before it is evident to you. They even try to tell you this but it usually comes across as criticism or an "attack". Usually we block this truth. If they really love us then they do not quit in trying to get our attention with it. Eventually, we make the conscious realization of our truth inside of us. Once this realization takes place then we have to make a choice - live and speak our truth or keep it bottled up inside. One of these options seems harder but paradoxically taking that step to speak your truth is what ultimately opens up the proverbial floodgates of abundance and ease in your life. The step may seem daunting but the payout is bigger than anything I've seen in Vegas on this trip.

Off and Running

This morning was a blur. I whipped open the curtains of my hotel room and saw another beautiful desert sunrise. Then, my day kicked into non-stop action. It was bursting with activity and learning. I love days like this. It's like the sun knew. The sunrise was efficient and beautiful but not overly so. It said "now, get out there and have a good day".

I am at a convention where I am learning and stretching myself. It feels good to use my brain, meet people with similar goals and work on improving my life and the lives of others. I haven't stopped since I got up and saw the sunrise this morning. I have a brief rest period now and then one more dinner before the day is officially over. Sometimes, busy just feels good.

Desert Sun

The unusual rain has stopped in Las Vegas giving way to a beautiful, bright and shiny desert sun. It's a new day. If the sun feels as rested as I do then we are both off to a great start. It is amazing how easy it is to focus on what you want when you feel well rested and rejuvenated. It doesn't take much, just some sleep and some downtime. I know it's not always possible in our crazy hectic lives but even if you can carve out 15 minutes to breathe deeply and close your eyes then you will be doing yourself a big favour.

It's easier to focus on what you want when your body isn't tugging at you with fatigue. It's easier to choose positive emotions when you have equilibrium inside in terms of your biochemistry. It's easier to choose a powerful physiology when your body is well rested and used to getting regular exercise. When all of these 3 components are in alignment then life will just flow.

The West

I am now in Las Vegas so this is my first sunrise of the year in the Pacific Time Zone. Ironically, it is pouring down rain. In Vegas?? Absolute downpour so in keeping with what seems to be the trend in 2010, there is no actual sunrise. Ha ha! Very funny! And yet, I know that it is still there shining away behind all of those rainclouds.

The sun is just taking a break from all of the fanfare and hard work it has to do when there are no clouds. And that's exactly what I am doing for the rest of this day. Taking care of myself and regenerating some of my energy resources. It's a down day, an inside day and I couldn't be happier that the rain is pouring down encouraging me to hunker down and stay inside. Thank you rain!

Flying High

I am sitting at the airport in Toronto watching the sunrise "rise" over the airplanes. Actually, the sky is grey and there isn't any sunrise but I'm watching the sky lighten up nonetheless. I am over the moon this morning. I had my book launch last night and it was spectacular to say the least. There were almost 300 people packed into the Imperial Room at the Royal York Hotel.

Nights like last night remind me of the power of intention and staying focused on what I want. Sure, there are bumps along the way but keeping the end result in mind and focusing all of my effort and energy on the result bring it to life. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude this morning. It was a night I will never forget.

Foggy

The sunrise was foggy today. I felt a little foggy this morning. I think I have a lot on my plate and not sure what to do first. The walk was peaceful and just what I needed. The waves were rhythmic and provided a soothing backdrop to my thoughts. The fog was a nice veil on the world. It made everything look quiet. Even the Christmas lights looked muted in the fog.

I tried to match the rhythm of the waves to my breathing. It seemed to help with clearing my thoughts. Perhaps that is the key. I think I need to slow down in order to get faster. The paradox is so clear and yet so hard to attain. We'll see what tomorrow's sunrise tells me.

Change

There was a distinct change in the weather today. This morning's sunrise was also brilliant red but it didn't seem as peaceful as the other day. The sunrise was more of a flash. It was dark, then it was red and then the sun was up. Poof. Just like that. I almost missed it.

Everything is like that really; just a flash. Nothing really lasts forever. This is good news when things are bad. It will never be as bad as you think for as long as you think. I am reminded of a Wilson Phillips song called "Hold on". I listen to it when I need a little extra push to keep moving. It usually does the trick.

Crystal Clear

Right now, the sky is a brilliant gradient of colour which starts on the horizon as deep red and the moves through orange, yellow, gold, mauve and finally blue. It is just breathtaking. I am eagerly anticipating the burst of fire of the sun when it finally crests the horizon. Last night, we both remarked that it was one of the clearest nights we had seen in ages. You could every single star on our drive up to Collingwood. You could see for hundreds of kilometres.

I can't help but wonder if things in my own head aren't getting clearer. Perhaps the sunrise and the clear night are reflections of a process at work in my own psyche. Maybe that's all it ever is. Perhaps we are meant to take note of what is happening on our environment and use it to inform what is happening inside of us. It's a totally different way of looking at the world but it works.

Really Windy

The lake looked like the ocean this morning. The waves were of surfing quality. I'm not joking. The wind seemed to control the sunrise today. It kept putting clouds in the way of the red and pink that streaked the sky. It's as though the sun had to find another location to rise up. I swear it seemed to rise in a completely different place. It was weird. And yet, the sun managed to get up. Not even the howling wind could stop it. It just kept doing it's thing.

I'm in the same place right now - plodding along and getting things done. There have been many obstacles in my way but I keep finding the resources to move around them or to ignore them or even reframe them. It's not glamorous work but it needs to be done in order to support the glamorous work. Today is a day of getting it done without complaining and without any glory. Head down and plodding along. At the end of this day, I will have accomplished my tasks and sometimes that is all we are meant to do.

So Awesome

This morning's sunrise was stunning; exactly what I have been yearning for. Reds, oranges, purples streaking across the sky. It was cold and crisp and there were tiny little frost diamonds on the boardwalk. I took an extra long walk. I listened to my awesome playlist and it pumped me up. In that place, I could feel the creativity flowing.

I realized a very important fact - the paradox of slowing down. When I actually take the time to slow down then life flows more easily. Conversely, when I try to force my will and my method on life then it feels hard and unbending. It's a hard lesson to learn because it requires faith and trust. I think I've got it now!

New Beginnings

What an obvious title for a blog post about a sunrise. Yet, this morning I was overwhelmed with an understanding of a new beginning. Times are changing so quickly right now. It seems as though everyone and everything is moving at breakneck speed, including me. This week I was gently (or not so much) reminded to slow down. I was reminded that success isn't always gotten by forcing things. In fact, sometimes, the exact opposite is true. Sometimes, when we take the time to take time out that is where the flash of brilliance appears.

I took an extra long walk this morning. I listened to Enya for an extra long time. I watched two ducks for a while. You could see them tense up as I approached. I obviously go too close for comfort because they quickly jumped in the water and then they ultimately took off for the sky. They landed about 10m away and then went on swimming. I thought "hmm, that is how our stress response is designed to work" - in short bursts. As soon as they were out of danger they went right back to enjoying their day. I'm not that good at switching it off yet but at least I am aware that is is my choice to switch it on and off. Maybe I should become a duck!

Expectation

I realized that I expect the sun to rise every morning. It always does but I got to thinking: what if it didn't? It's a fairly strong expectation. I imagine the disappointment would be huge if the sun didn't actually rise one day. Expectations can be the source of a lot of disappointment but I think it's important to realize that it's the expectation that causes the disappointment not the event itself. This is a very empowering distinction because the expectation doesn't come from the outside, it comes from the inside. And, if it comes from the inside then it is within your complete control.

When I find myself suffering or struggling I can usually bet that there is an expectation driving it. I don't always act on this realization but that tends to prolong the negative experience. The moment that I give up the expectation then I am usually free to experience something enjoyable in my life. But I first have to choose to take my focus off the expectation and just allow what is happening to unfold.

Dependable

The sunrise is always there no matter what, through think and thin. There are days when I need to know this. Sometimes it is the only thing that is predictable in my life. This morning I needed this. There is was, just as it always is. There was absolutely no fanfare this morning. None. The sky went from dark to light in very subtle, almost unnoticeable changes. The sky was a constant colour the entire time. It just went from black to dark grey to light grey. Very slowly and predictably.

Today, it finally felt like things got moving again. The mercury retrograde is over and most things that were stuck have been put back on track. I look forward to what transpires in the next few days.

Surrender

The theme for today is surrender; to giving in to what is there anyway. It's actually about not straining against the circumstances. It's about going with the flow. In the same way that the sun goes with the flow of the circumstances around it, we can experience this flow. Yesterday, I went snowshoeing for the first time in a very long time. I decided to just go by myself instead of waiting for someone to invite me. I was just planning to go up and look around and then come down again. It was so beautiful in the woods. And peaceful. There were so many trails. At one point, I wasn't sure which way to go when two fellow hikers appeared. They were "walking maps" and were able to point in a multitude of directions depending on what I wanted. At one point they suggested that I join them, so I did. They ended up taking me all over the place. It was awesome. I never would have done it on my own. What started out as a 45-minute jaunt turned into a 2-hour hike up steep slopes and down beautiful valleys. By being willing to go with the flow, I was able to have an experience that I didn't even plan. I had fun, plain and simple.

Consider how many times you might be able to have fun if you just go with the flow. I look in to my own life and see many opportunities to experience the fun instead of the struggle by just going with the flow. Perhaps the struggle lies in resisting the flow. Maybe it's that easy??

What Works

*First of all, I want to apologize for posting this entry a day late - there were technical difficulties. I have sorted them out so that should be the end of it.*

The sun doesn't struggle against what is. The sun doesn't even try to control the circumstances. If it is overcast, the sun rises. If there is broken cloud, the sun rises. If there is a howling blizzard, the sun rises. It doesn't depend on the outside circumstances for its actions. It just carries them out to the best of its ability.

This is a good lesson; a simple lesson. It's a lesson that I would benefit from paying more attention to. I think it's important to remember what I am trying to do; what my purpose is. And, then just do it, regardless of whether or not the circumstances are ideal, or even supportive for that matter. I had forgotten this really important point until the sunrise reminded me.

Roles

Today I was reminded of how each of us have a role to play. I got this email in my inbox this morning and it brought tears to my eyes. It was from tut.com and it's perfect for the sunrises365 project.

"Some people just have big hearts, Gina. And with this gift they're very often able to feel, offer, and show far more love than they receive from those around them. Which, at times, is a heavy load to bear. So today I'd like to remind them, and especially you, that the sun asks not that the moon and planets help brighten each day, but relishes her role as a keeper of the light and a bringer of the dawn. A role much like your own."

I think of all of things that have been troubling me lately and wonder where I have been asking others to change so it will make my life easier. I was gently reminded, by a close friend, yesterday that challenging times require us to discover more of who we are and to remember who we really are. I guess the sun knows this already and tries to show us each and every day to show up and do our part.

Softness

As you can see in the picture, the sunrise was soft and beautiful this morning. It was peaceful, quiet and yet stunningly gorgeous. The whole sky changed colour instead of one focal point of brightness. I was struck by how effortless the whole production looked. There was no fanfare and no struggle. There was no burst of light but rather a gradual building up of light.

I started to think maybe this was the way to achieve results in my own life. Instead of always pushing hard and making efforts maybe there was an easier way, an effortless way. Maybe? So today I am taking it easy. Not pushing. Not straining. Rather, I am allowing what is there to guide me to my next step. So far, it's working and it's not even lunchtime yet.

Ordinary

Today is an ordinary day. Grey skies, muted light, average winter temperature. It seems that the sun has been hiding behind the clouds a lot this year so far. In fact, it seems as thought I have only really seen the actual sun rise on 2 occasions. Yet, it is still there, shining away and doing its thing.

I can relate to that. There are many days where I just plug away and do my thing. There's no fanfare or glamour - just work. And yet, it all adds up to something bigger than that. What I realize is that the mundane days are necessary to get the pieces in place. They are also necessary in order for me to have some down time, a chance to rejuvenate without having to be "on". Maybe the sun needs the same thing - a little downtime, out of the spotlight so it build up to that unbelievable stunning sun rise that will take my breath away.

Paradox

Today, I was reminded of the power that comes from being still. It was a quite morning and a peaceful sunrise - not much to report. It wasn't particularly stunning but it did the job and got the day going. That got me thinking - perhaps there are places in my own life where I could just get the job done. Get it done without the drama, without the stress and without being so frantic. Maybe always saying I'm so busy actually makes me more busy. Instead of going crazy with all of the things I had to do today. I took some key time out.

I spent about 30 minutes in the infrared sauna that I love so much. Most of the time I was just breathing. Slow, diaphragmatic breaths. After 10 minutes, I actually felt clearer. I actually felt grounded and the solutions came to me easily. It reminded me of a book I read once. It was called something like "Don't Just Do Something, Sit There". I think there's more wisdom in that title than I gave it credit for when I first saw it. Sitting there today, I got more done then when I run around like a madwoman. Hmmmmmm.

Mondays

Mondays are hectic. Why is that? It's just another day of the week. It happens every week and yet on Monday mornings I feel frazzled. Perhaps it's because Monday's require us to shift gears from the "weekend" to the "work week". Perhaps it's because there is a distinct change in routine and urgency. I use the word urgency because that was the general feeling in my house about 5 minutes ago when my kids were getting ready to leave for school. It always feels so frantic.

The sunrise even seemed frantic this morning. There are some mornings where it seems to take hours between dawn's first light and the burst of orange on the horizon. The colours linger and change and blend into each other. But not today and maybe not on Mondays ever. Today there was no lingering, no drawn out hues. Today, it was pretty much dark and then pretty much light. Just like that. An urgent shift from dark to light as if to say "c'mon let's go, it's time to start this week already."

Gratitude

This morning I woke up with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I was at a party last night and was struck, one point, at how similar people really are. We just want to laugh, love and be loved. That's pretty much it. I have made so many new friends in the last few months and I am so grateful to know every single one of them. Last night, I laughed a lot. So much so that I seem to have lost my voice this morning.

It doesn't matter what time I get to bed at night, my body always wakes me up before sunrise. I am grateful for that too because it gives me a chance to have some quiet time on my own. It allows me the opportunity to reflect on what's important before my family wakes up and life takes over. So this morning while it was quiet I was grateful for all that I had in my life. The sunrise was stunning and the quarter moon in the sky was a bonus. I was really grateful for all of that beauty that was right in front of me.

Beauty

The snow looks really soft this morning. Cold, but soft. I am up in Collingwood again this weekend as I do most weekends in the winter. When I am in Toronto the sun rises up over the horizon above Lake Ontario. It is usually a stunning visual display of colour. When I am in Collingwood, the sun rises over the town. Despite the fact that we are on the shores of Lake Huron, the sun doesn't rise above the lake although I imagine that it might set over the lake in the summertime. The sunrise over the town isn't quite as dramatic as the sunrise over Lake Ontario. Yet, it's still beautiful in it own way. And even if it's not beautiful, the sun still gets risen. The job gets done whether or not it's a beautiful postcard sunrise or a completely grey windblown storm.

If you look for beauty then you will find beauty. This is along the lines of a principle that I write about in my new book. You always ultimately find what you seek out. It's a physiological functioning. So, if you make a commitment to seek out beauty then you will find beauty everywhere. Likewise, if you make an effort to seek out what's wrong then that is what you will have. Take it from me, looking for the beauty is more fun!

Hectic

The sunrise this morning helped remind me that my life was hectic today (and perhaps all week). I got up early and then all of a sudden the sun was up. Boom. Just like that. It was as though there were almost no warning. At least that's how it seemed to me. Usually I like to savour the sunrise and the shades of colour and light that lead up to it. But today it seemed like time just slipped away from me. I didn't particularly like the experience. So I took note and made a pledge to slow down a little bit. Tomorrow I will give myself even more time to get up and start my day off with intention instead of letting it start me off like a shot. Thanks to sun for pointing that out :)

Surrender

I learned about surrender this morning through this project. You see, my new book is about to launch and I have been burning the proverbial candle at both ends for many nights in a row. I felt it this morning. My body is conditioned to awaken early and I consider myself a morning person but this morning I felt weary. The softness in me realized that I needed to rest. The hardness in me wanted to push me past this point of exhaustion. The softness won.

Instead of pushing myself to "suck it up" and get out there and walk this morning, I decided to stay in my warm bed and watch the sunrise through my bedroom window. It was another grey day so it was more of a "sky lighting" than a sun "rise" but I watched it nonetheless. In surrendering to my weariness I actually found some energy. Perhaps it was because I was giving myself what I needed instead of what I "should" be needing. The rest of my morning went unusually easy as well. Perhaps there is something to surrendering to this softness...

Finally!

This morning I witnessed a beautiful sunrise complete with red streaks in the sky and all. The first word that came to mind was "finally!" I had been so anticipating the chance to see the sky change colour. I love that part. I was also reminded that things always change and even the worse circumstances eventually ease up. This is a normal cycle of life. It's amazing how many times I forget that there is an ebb and flow to life. I think it's most challenging to remember this fact when I am being tested or faced with a big challenge. It seems that there have been many tests in my life lately. Perhaps that is associated with the fact that there are still a few things looking for closure from 2009. Perhaps it's just a natural cycle of life and I happen to be more aware of it now that I have turned my intention to noticing.

Another interesting thing that I noticed on my walk this morning was the ice along the shore. At one point I realized that I wasn't actually walking on the shore at all. I was actually walking on the ice. I like to walk along the very edge of the lake at the place where the water precisely meets the land. In the summer, I usually end up with wet feet or boots. In the winter, though, I realize that it order to walk along the edge that I actually have to be walking on the ice. It's strange how frozen water can extend the edge of the shore so that someone like me can actually be out there "walking on water". It was also strange that I could be supported by some frozen water that was only a couple inches thick. Perhaps we are more supported than we think we are. Now that's an interesting thought.

PRIORITY

I had an interesting experience with the sunrise this morning. You see, the sun actually rose at 7:51am this morning which happens to conflict with my weekly (and coveted) boxing class that starts at 7:30am. I was in a dilemma last night. What should I do? I went back and forth. Skip the class, do the class, skip the class, do the class. This continued into the morning when I got up around 6:30am. Should I skip the class or do the class? I got to asking myself a question "where else does this conflicted behaviour show up in my life?". I was startled to realize that it happened a lot more than I wanted it to. What a gift the conflict had been!! It lit up a whole area of my life where I question myself, where I doubt myself.

With my new revelation in hand, I decided to ask myself "what did I most need and want to do?". The answer came back a resounding "boxing". So I trusted my instinct and put that plan in motion. As I was heading out the door, I had a brilliant idea - I could still witness the sunrise from my boxing class because the room has huge floor to ceiling windows. So, at precisely 7:51am, I stopped pounding the poor punching bag and headed over to the window to confirm that the lightness in the sky did, in fact, indicate that there was still a sun and it had finally risen. I left the boxing class feeling more certain that I had in a while. Thanks to the quandary to help me discover a little bit more of myself. Or should I say, thanks to the sun?!?

Backwards

I am back in Toronto and thankfully the howling wind didn't follow me home. This morning looked a lot like the other days. I still haven't had a confirmed sighting of the sun at sunrise. However, I did observe something interesting on my walk this morning. The wind which almost always blows from the lake on to the shore was blowing the other way around today. It was blowing from the shore out on to the lake. It looked really weird to see the waves moving away from the shore. All I could think was "that's backwards". That led me to ponder what else in my life is "backwards" right now.

I have been told that the planet Mercury is "in retrograde" right now (until 15 January). When a planet is in retrograde it appears to be moving backwards at least from our perspective here on earth. Astrologers say that when Mercury is in retrograde it often messes up our ability to get things done and it also interferes with our communication in all forms so we experience more misunderstandings and miscommunication. Yuck! Take it from me, if you try to push your agenda during a retrograde you will be met with a great deal of frustration. I have learned this the hard way in the past and have decided to go with the flow when Mercury is in retrograde. It seems that I had forgotten this principle up until today when I was struck by "all things backwards". It was a giant "cosmic two by four" gently (or not so) reminding me to slow down, focus inward and stop pushing.

Wild

So far the sunrises in 2010 have not been "textbook". Just when I thought the weather couldn't possibly get any worse...it did. I have never seen such wind. Even though it's 9:38 in the morning and the sun has been risen for almost 2 hours, it is still pretty darkish outside. I can't help but wonder if the sun knows how wild the wind is down here on earth obscuring the warmth and glow of the sun. It is C-O-L-D. I think it's about -30C with the wind chill factor. Frankly, we could use a little sunshine.

The wind is blowing so hard that my son made a very insightful comment at breakfast this morning. He said, "look, it's snowing sideways and a little bit up". He's right. It is snowing UP! My insight about this string of non-sun-sunrises is to notice that even when it seems like that bad times will never end, they always do. I know that this weather will eventually subside. I'm reminded of an old saying "this too shall pass".

Windy

I'm still in Collingwood and today's sunrise was even less obvious than yesterday's. I swear it's as if the wind is trying to pick up the trees and move them. Yesterday's peaceful snowing ushered in the dawn with a peaceful tranquility. However, today the weather is anything but tranquil. The sunrise was abrupt today. First it was dark and then it was light. I suspect the wind whipping the snow around had something to do with noticing it.

Today, I am even less certain that the sun is actually there behind all of that gray cloud and vicious wind. It's just so nasty out. However, even as I type this I know I am being silly. Of course, the sun is there, right?? After all it is lighter out than it was at 5:30 this morning :) Perhaps it was days such as this one that helped the ancients develop the concept of faith...

Quiet

There was nothing special about this day except everything. Being the first day of 2010 has got to be something special. And yet, the sunrise was.....subtle. In fact, I couldn't even see it rise because it has been gently snowing for a few hours. I did, however watch the sky turn from dark to light. That's how I knew that the sun was finally up. Well, that and the fact that my computer told me it was going to rise at 7:57EST today. I am in Collingwood, ON, Canada which is a popular ski destination for those of us who live in Toronto.

I can't help but notice how secure I feel that the sun is actually up and yet I cannot see it and have no real "proof" that it is up there. I wonder if there are any other things in my life that I surrender such strong faith. Usually, I notice that it's the other way around. That unless I see good hard proof that I am usually skeptical to a fault. Why is that? I am not experiencing any stress right now wondering where the sun is, if it's really there and whether or not it will be there tomorrow. I just know. And I know that I know. I have to think that if I apply this approach to other areas of my life, it will allow me to feel more peaceful even when things don't seem to be going the way I want them to. That's what I will do today on this beautiful first day of 2010. Happy New Year!