Anticipation

I arose early this morning eager to watch the sunrise over the mountains in Julian again. I crept upstairs at the B&B we were staying at and made my way to the deck in the early dawn. The sun was just beginning to brighten the sky. I waited there, patiently at first and then a little less patiently as it seemed to take forever. My anticipation was growing and it seemed that it would never actually occur.

It did, however, give me an opportunity to muse about my impatience. I am often impatient. At what cost, I wondered? What else was I missing by focusing on my anticipation. Much. I was missing much. I began to look around at that point and started to notice everything that I had been missing. Everything that was right in front of me. The hills are very rocky here. Not in a granite slab, cliff sort of way but rather the hills are covered with boulders. They are really unlike anything I'm used to. In fact, the whole hillside is gorgeous. As was the sky and the trees. There was even a rooster crowing in the distance. Not sure how I missed that but focusing on being impatient has a way of erasing the obvious. It was a good lesson in refocusing my attention. Pay attention to what gets your attention.

Slowly and Surely

The sky warmed up slowly today starting with a faint glow far off in the distant mountains of southern California. It was hot already when I got up this morning in the quaint little town of Julian, CA. The sun seemed to lumber up in response to the heat. It was as though the sun was as tired as I have been lately.

Working too hard is not a sign of success. It's a sign of detachment. Detachment from how burnt out you really feel. It isn't until you get a break from the pace that you realize you've been running too hard. This last time was a bit of a wake-up call for me. If you look around you'll find harmony in nature. Push and pull. Give and take. I think I've spent a little too much time pushing and giving lately. Balance is not static; it's dynamic and it takes as much action to rest and rejuvenate as it takes to work hard. It's just a different type of focus and attention but one worthy nonetheless.

First Impressions

At first glance, this day is bleak. The sky is completely overcast. I mean grey. And yet, I think it will clear. I think this day is not what it first seems. I have sneaking suspicion that there is clear blue sky in the near future. But you wouldn't know it from the sky.

First impressions can be tricky. Think of how many judgements you make based on first impressions. More specifically, think about how many incorrect judgements you make based on first impressions only to discover that you were wrong. Do we really need to make such quick judgements? What would happen if we didn't? What would happen if we took the time to get to know someone or something before we judged them or it? What would happen if we didn't judge it? Ever? I would like to propose that we make an effort to allow for a second impression and see what opens up in our lives.

Inside Out

I'm back in LA again. The sunrise was nonexistent in the fog this morning. It was completely overcast. However, the day was not a total write-off. The blue sky peaked out by about 6:30 in the morning. I noticed that I started to shine inside.

The day got better and better. I can't decide if it got better first or if I got better on the inside and then it merely reflected it for me. It's always like that. The outside reflects the inside. Always. What are you projecting right now. Have a look around. The answer is usually right in front of you.

Pink Glow

The sky radiated pink this morning. The glow just kept getting brighter and brighter and then eventually morphed into yellow golden light. Gradually and without apparent effort.

Each one of us has a light inside of us. In fact, each one of us is the light. Allowing it to glow is effortless. Blocking it is what takes all the effort. In fact, many people strive for things as if they were lacking anything. Nothing could be further from the truth. You already have everything you need inside of you. Your only job in life is to let is shine through. Let it shine through the obstructions, the doubt, the disbelief. You are lacking nothing except the awareness that you have it all inside right now.

Chances

I'll be honest with you. I didn't want to go walking this morning, I just wanted to stay in my warm, cozy bed and watch the sun rise from there. But something pulled me out of bed. That same thing pulled me all the way to the edge of the lake. The lake was flat, the air was nice and cool and the sunrise was so clear. I was walking for about 2 minutes when I came across this heart in the sand. The cool part for me was that it contained my initial and my husband's initial. What are the chances?

I know that this type of thing happens more than we acknowledge. We always chalk it up to coincidence. I live by a belief that there are no coincidences; that each moment is significant to our experience. Based on this belief, I try to pay attention to what is right in front of me so I can take the next step on my path. I'm not sure if this is really "true" but then again, how can you ever know what's true for sure. Perhaps it's true because I make it so. I can tell you one thing for sure, it's a lot of fun to live this way.

Gradients

I couldn't tell where the colour changed between the horizon and the top of the sky. It was definitely red at the horizon and blue way up in the sky. Other than that it seemed to be one uniform colour but really it was a brilliantly seamless gradient of colour with no apparent stops and starts. There was something universally comforting about the uniformity of the sky this morning. Perhaps it was the predictability that I spoke of the other day. Or more specifically, the lack of chaos.

Why do we crave the absence of chaos? Is it for peace and quiet? The reality is that the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen have been the ones with the most chaos, the most uncertainty and the most variety. These things give us the spice of life. They make it interesting. Yet we continually push them away as if they were to blame for the uneasiness that we feel inside. Perhaps it's time to start looking inside to clear away the uneasiness instead of requiring the circumstances to change for that happen.