Stretching

The sunrise stretched out in all directions today. It started as a faint red glow in a small break in the clouds on the horizon. Then, it spread horizontally across the sky cleverly finding any open spaces in the clouds. Finally, the glow spread upwards and around filling any and all of the space between the clouds and even spilling the reflection onto the stillness of the lake.

How often do you stretch your own boundaries? It's like stretching your muscles, I suppose. If you haven't stretched in a while then you feel stiff and clumsy. Stretching even hurts if it has been a really long time. But the teaching is that you should stretch to the point of discomfort, back off just a smidge and then breathe INTO the discomfort. The breath dissolves the discomfort and then you are able to stretch a little further. With consistent practice, you can greatly increase your range of motion over time. The same process holds true for stretching your boundaries in any area of your life. It may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you are out of practice. Believe or not, breathing into the discomfort actually works. Breath is a magic tool. Then, eventually you will soften to the stretching in your life and be more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Holding Back

The sunrise held back today. It was neither sunny nor cloudy, more of an in-between, indecisive state. I can totally relate to that right now. I'm not very good at being indecisive but I'm told it is a necessary life skill to have. So, apparently, I am creating opportunities all around me to learn this life skill.

Even the daily message that I get from tut.com was in alignment today. This is what it said:

Gina, you're the only person who knows what's right for you.
The only one.
And if you already know what this is, commit to it.

If you don't, commit to nothing.

How's that for a "message"? Trusting oneself can be tricky business, especially if one has lost connection with the inner self. Essentially, this is the process of growth and evolution. In order to learn how to trust yourself, I suppose you first have to do the opposite a few times and live with the consequences. It certainly makes for an interesting experience.

Released

The weather finally relented into a brilliant thunderstorm yesterday. It was as if it were releasing the build-up of tension throughout the world. The anticipation of the storm was slow and painful. Finally and mercifully, the skies ripped open and released the energy. The lightning storms continued long after the storm had passed. The sky was bright and clear this morning relieved of the heaviness and tension of the weekend. The edges were crisp and the colours beautiful as the golden light from the sun mixed with the brilliant blue of the sky. The result was glorious shades of purple and pink.

I felt as though I was riding the waves of tension in parallel to the thunderstorm. The image of holding my breath continuously cycled through my mind. If the storm was a projection then I was certainly storing a lot of tension. Noticing my surroundings gave me an opportunity to notice what was going on inside of me. This happens more often than you think. Usually, what you need is being so clearly communicated in and through your circumstances that you simply need to pay attention and take the resulting inspired action. Interestingly enough, I feel clear and relaxed this morning as well. I wonder if my edges are defined by beautiful colours as well.

Underneath

It will rain today. Hopefully. The sky is covered with a thick grey blanket of impending moisture. The wind is in full force very early in the morning. The air is 100% humid. Something's gotta give. Despite the outwardly appearance though, I know the sun is still there rising beautifully, faithfully underneath the clouds. I wish I could stand on top of the clouds so I could see the sunrise. Alas, my challenge is to know the beauty is there even though I can't see it.

Have you ever felt through the pain? There is always something underneath it. That something is beautiful. That something is love, every time. Deep, thick, immutable, beautiful, simple love. It's not the romantic love of bookstore shelves or even a feeling about someone. Love is a verb. Love is an action. Love is who you are. When you love someone you give them something. There is nothing passive about it. It takes work to love through the pain. We've been conditioned to close down in the midst of our pain cutting off access to the very thing that can heal us and everyone around us. Regardless of appearances, love is present every where. Perhaps we need to get in touch with our own love before we can become acutely aware of its pervasive presence all around us.

Subtly Graceful

There is a thin layer of cloud today. It's like a veil, not quite thick enough to be called overcast but hearty enough to uniformly cover the sky. The light gets through though with no effort. This type of light is close to white; it's not really coloured or variant at all. The word graceful springs to mind.

When I was a little girl, my mom used to say to me "Gina, if you have to tell people that you're graceful then you're probably not". What she meant was you need to BE who you are instead of tell people about who you are. You know, "actions speak louder than words". I think this is the great paradox of being human. We ultimately yearn for the freedom to express who really are while at the same time we are terrified to let people see our truest nature. The heart yearns to be free to love while the brain yearns keep things safe and predictable. You know who I'm cheering for :)

Sky Waves

The sky was so beautiful this morning. The clouds looked like rolling waves in the sky. They were flowing, swirling and curling to match the rhythm of the waves on the lake below. The sun burst out of the water in a fiery red ball. The edges were so defined against the hazy blue sky. The entire sky lit up giving the clouds a golden edge to their wavelike appearance. The whole scene seemed to flow from one frame to the next without any apparent transition. Yet, the sky would be completely changed after only a few minutes. It was very subtle and graceful.

There are times when being in the flow makes me uncomfortable. Perhaps its the unpredictability of what will happen next or the simple fact that things change quickly and without warning when you are just flowing. Paradoxically, I also rather enjoy the flow for the very same reasons. Once I surrender to the flow then I am able to get in a groove and go with it. I realize that it's my decision to let go that changes my experience of the situation. I suppose the discipline in life is choosing to make that decision to let go and trusting that everything that happens does so for a higher purpose.

Unrest

The morning was full of energy. It was windy and busy and generally unruly. There is a coming storm in the air, that's for sure. It was anything but peaceful down there this morning. Even the birds were acting strange. Hundreds and hundreds of geese were flying in V-formation about a foot above the surface of the lake. It was so bizarre. Perhaps they were practicing their formations for flying south in the fall.

When I notice the angst in the weather and on the lake then I take notice of it within myself as well. I start to notice all of the things that are still undone. I start to fret about not having enough time to get it done or whether I want to get it done in the first place. And then, I stop. As I stood on the edge of the lake, I just let the wind whip through my hair. I shifted my attention from my angst to the fact that the air felt cool; that this was the first time in a week where it hasn't been sticky, sweaty, humid hot. It felt great. Then, after my brief pause, I could focus on what was right. I forgot the angst altogether. I just needed to make a shift in order to snap out of it. Luckily, the wind was there to help me.