Slow and Steady

The sunrise seemed slower today, as if it was taking its time. It was slow and dreamy. There was mist again but not as much as yesterday. The air is thick and humid. As such, everything seems to move a little bit slower. Including me.

I used to resist slow periods because I believed them to be unproductive. Lately, I have come to realize that slow periods are highly productive because they provide the opportunity to create. And creation is hard work. To move something from the abstract to the concrete is much more difficult than to run around doing menial tasks and checking them off a list. Bringing an idea from the depths of your mind and then giving it shape, form and contrast is a laborious takes that mostly takes place without assistance from your conscious mind. Therefore, it seems as if you are doing nothing. This couldn't be further from the truth.

Misty Morning

It was such a rare morning. There was an eerie mist swirling about the lake at sunrise. I hesitate to just call it a fog because this mist had movement. It was constantly shifting and I felt as though I stood on the edge of the Lake leading to the mystical island of Avalon. From time to time, a flock of geese would fly by appearing only briefly in the mist and then disappearing once again. I felt as though I was inside something.

It was oddly comforting. I wanted to stay there forever. I felt protected, secure and content. I sat on a rock at the edge of the lake for a long time. It was like being invisible because there is no way anyone could have seen me from the boardwalk nor from the lake. It was like being in a cocoon. It dawned on me on how much that feeling of security is lacking in our lives. We run from place to place, from decision to decision but we never can really know if what we are doing is the right thing. Every action we take is a leap of faith. There are no guarantees in life. The best we can do is live our truest life and love as much as possible.

Everything

The sun is everything. Without it, we cannot live. I have personally spent many hours in the last week seeking the warmth and comfort of the sun. None of it in the mornings, of course, because I have yet to see the sun actually rise in California on this trip. I am sitting at LAX right now and the sky is again overcast. However, I expect it will burn through the mist in a couple hours and work its magic once again.

Opposites provide context. The general lack of sun in the mornings has made me appreciate the spectacular sunrises that I have been able to witness this year. I don't really appreciate the warmth of the sun until I am sitting in the shade freezing a bit. I started to apply this awareness to other areas of my life. Could I appreciate something about someone by recognizing the opposite first? We tend to avoid negative emotions at all costs but sometimes the negative emotion provides insight as to what exactly needs healing. It seems that the only way to the other side is straight through the middle.

Endurance

The sun endures. No matter what, it will always be there the next day whether you can see it through the overcast sky or not. The sun will be there regardless is what storm ripped through you reality last night. The sun is certainty.

Life is not certain. Life is uncertainty. There are no guarantees at all. Our only hope is to listen to that small almost imperceptible voice deep within when it seeks the truth. There is a risk when you speak the truth. First of all, your world as you know it may crumble. You won't know what will follow and that's justifiably scary. However, the alternative is worse, I think. What if nothing changes and your deepest yearning remains unmet? That's the real cost.

Love

When you feel the sun's warmth upon your face, it feels like love, does it not? Does it still feel like love when the sun is shrouded in grey and overcast skies. Is there still love there? I am certain of it. In fact, when the sun is hidden as it is again this morning then it forces me to look around to notice what else is right before my eyes. As I follow my gaze around this beautiful property I notice swaying palm trees, stunning rose gardens, soothing fountains, hummingbirds, pelicans and even the far off chatter of complete strangers. All of this too, is love.

There is nothing that is not love. Even though (and especially) if there are times where it feels anything like love, that's still love. That's the paradoxical beauty of love. It's everywhere and everything. If you are not feeling it then consider that you have closed to the abundance of love that is literally everything bursting to get in. As I write this sentence, I realize the absurdity because you, too, are also love which means that if you are not feeling it then you have closed yourself off from yourself. This can be easily undone. Literally. Just breathe and allow your heart to open. It will. And then feel what is all around you from the inside out. It's always been there and will always be there. No matter what. Just breathe.

Similarity

I'm beginning to notice a pattern for the sunrise on the coast here. Overcast and grey seems to be the norm for the sunrise and many hours thereafter. I'm glad I didn't decide to write this sunrise blog from the coast because so far seeing the actual sun rise has been my challenge.

But life's like that: challenging. Challenge is what causes growth and change challenge stimulates, or rather activates resources that lie beneath the surface. These deeper resources are just waiting for an opportunity to be needed. Without the appropriate challenge or stressor they would continue to lie dormant. The challenge is the only way to access them. Thankfully, then life is full of challenges.

Slow and Steady

I'm beginning to see a pattern in the mornings on the coast of California: overcast and grey. I remember this pattern from my decade spent living in Vancouver. The sun takes a while to get going on the Pacific coast. It has to first burn through all of the cloud that rolled in off the ocean overnight. Well, Carlsbad is no exception. However I can already see blue sky poking through the grey blanket.

The air was heavy this morning and I felt exactly the same way. I could almost hear the sun telling me to go back to bed. So I sat there for a few minutes and then I did go back to bed and sleep soundlessly for another two hours. I think I was tired and I'm pretty sure the sun knew it. I'm grateful for the signal to get the rest that I need. Sometimes it takes an outside force pushing us into what we need. I know that I often love the feeling of surrendering to someone else's lead. Today was that day for sure. Thank you sun!