Cotton Candy

Do you remember that blue and pink cotton candy that you used to get at carnivals when you were a kid? That was the sunrise this morning. The sky was streaked with strings of cotton tinged with either blue or pink. It was dancing about the sky as the wind shifted and changed with the impending storm.

I miss being a kid. I miss the freedom that comes with not knowing so many things. I believe we call it "innocence". I yearn for simplicity in my life sometimes. I yearn to be free to run full speed from my living room to my sunroom or yell at the top of my lungs when I'm mad. This yearning usually lasts only for a moment and then it's gone. I was listening to a song by Lights this morning called "Pretend"; the lyrics capture that yearning perfectly. Maybe it would be a good idea to play pretend more often than we do. I bet it's more fun!

Resisting the Inevitable

I'm wondering if there is a day where the sun just doesn't want to come up. Does it ever wake up and wish it could not rise? My guess is no. The sun was a breathtaking ball of fiery red light this morning as it burst up over the horizon. It seemed to come right out of the lake.

I suppose I might be projecting on the sun. There are most definitely days where I don't want to get up. My work feels insignificant and the problems seem insurmountable. I feel beaten. I want to escape. But then I remember that I can't. That other people are counting on me. That my kids need lunches made and bathing suits packed. My students need a teacher to show up. Life keeps moving whether you do or not. It's days like this where I dig deep and discover that I'm made of more than I thought I was.

Hanging in the Balance

It was a stunning morning today. The full moon was setting as I came around the corner of the boardwalk. About 30 minutes later the sun completed the scenery with an intense purplish and red sunrise. I couldn't decide which direction was more beautiful so I kept turning around and taking in both scenes. I felt like the fulcrum of a teeter totter.

I noticed that being present in that moment was actually a balancing act. It was very dynamic. I would go back and forth between the sun and the moon. I never actually stopped moving even if just a little bit. I think that's the key to living in the present moment. It doesn't mean shutting down so that nothing bothers you. I think it actually means being aware of the tension that exists in everything and marveling at how it all works together. Fully feeling each moment instead of escaping any feeling is the key. In that way, you can be present to any set of circumstances.

Tension

There is so much tension in the air when thunderstorms are in the area. It can be incredibly hot one moment and then freezing in the next. There is a push and pull between the warm front and the cold front. This tension creates an enormous amount of energy. It always amazes me at the calm following a thunderstorm. It's like a recuperation period.

We often shy away from the tension within ourselves because it's uncomfortable. What we don't realize is the incredible amount of potential that also exists in that discomfort. Usually discomfort pushes us into new and innovative ways of thinking and being. If there was no tension then nothing would ever change. There would be no growth. Tension provides the catalyst necessary for change to occur. Once the change is initiated then there is always a calm period where you can gather yourself up before the next cycle starts all over again.

Waiting

I got up this morning and waited for the sun to rise. It felt like I was waiting forever. The sun may have been waiting for the clouds to get out of its way. Maybe the clouds were waiting for the wind to blow them away. It seemed as though everyone was waiting for something.

I've noticed a lot of waiting lately. I have found myself waiting for others to do something so I can get on with it. This is a futile game. I can't control other people's behaviours (although I admit that sometimes I'd like to). The only thing I can do is pay attention to my own experience and act accordingly. I've noticed that the real frustration doesn't come from waiting on other people's actions but really it stems from no enforcing my boundaries myself.

Thunderstorms

To say it was storming this morning would be an understatement. It was raining so hard that I thought a herd of animals was running across my roof. There was no sun to speak of. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Day off.

Good time to write about a break in the routine. I was really glad to have a break in the routine this morning. I have been going like a bat out of hell and I really enjoyed watching the non-sunrise from the coziness of my bed. There is something so therapeutic about rain beating down on my roof in a steady rhythm. I just watched the light change from dark gray to light gray and then watched a little longer before jumping back into my regular routine. It was just enough of a break to give me the energy that I needed to get the morning going in my household. Sometimes the little things are all we really need.

Uniform

It appeared as if the sky was one colour this morning. However, upon closer examination it was possible to see the transition of one colour to the next. It looked so uniform. It made me chuckle and laugh to remember way back to high school when I used to spend so much time trying to get my bangs uniform and perfect and then lock it in with a tonne of hair spray.

Why do we crave uniformity? Is it because it's predictable? I think our minds crave predictability because this world is so darn unpredictable. We are constantly being tasked with making sense of our experiences. This is much easier if the circumstances remain the same. However, a conflict invariably arises because our hearts seek to be expressed in a variety of ways. This need for variety is in direct opposition to the need for uniformity. It doesn't have to be one or the other. The fun part is learning to dance between the two poles enjoying every step of the journey.